Look into the Sun
by Timmesque
Summary: [yaoi] 'I didn't understand what big a sacrifice she gave me...and how little I really understood about love.'


**Look into the Sun**

**By Timberwolf220**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own it, you don't own it, and Takao Aoki owns it. Our bad luck, I guess.**

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[Took a sad song one evening]

[I smiled and quickly turned away]

[It's not easy singing sad songs…]

Kai Hiwatari walked down the dirty rock-riddled path. It was empty and, in a sense, calming. He was in a hurry to reach his destination.

Not because it was necessary.

Because there was something on his mind, an invisible weight that tugged at him like a ball on a chain (A/N: I can hear you, you perverts!)

He needed to be there

[…but it's still the easiest way I have to say]

It was an open area. Wide and far-reaching. He could never see the end and that, disappointed him for an odd reason. It was a feeling of rejection; of the way it seemed to distance itself from him.

He shook his head. He was being silly. The Ocean was nothing like that.

He had been comparing it to….nevermind…

[So when you look into the Sun]

[and see the things we haven't done]

[oh, was it better to run away?]

[than to spend the summer crying]

"Kai?"

He didn't even turn. He knew that voice, so he let it be. He wasn't concerned with her. Silently, he said a prayer in his mind. The same prayer he said everyday when he came here.

This was, in an odd ironical way, his church.

"I-I didn't know you came here as well."

He still hadn't said anything. It was easier for her, at any rate. Whether he was listening or not, it never made a difference in the end.

It never will.

[Now summer can't come anyway]

He opened his eyes, reflecting in them, the sure-fire passion of the Sun. He turned slightly so that he could see her. She looked flustered as if his presence unbalanced her. He didn't blame her. His presence unnerved his teammates as much as it scared strangers.

"Were…you here…because of…him?" She said softly, her voice almost lost in the stillness.

There was a special way she said 'him'. As if the word set the person apart from everyone else in the world. That the mystical quality of that word would show the world how 'special' he was.

And he was special. For more than one thing.

[I had waited for time to change her][The only change that came was over me][She pretended not to want love] 

[I hope she was only fooling me]

"Yes," He said gruffly.

She smiled, despite the fresh tears in her eyes, "I'm sorry."

"I don't need your pity," He said, the gruff quality in his voice vanishing as he reprimanded her for her notion.

She still smiled and that unnerved him.

"You don't have to hide it."

"I'm not hiding anything," He said sharply. Who did she think she was?

"You love him," She said simply.

"So?"

"Why haven't you told him?"

"He doesn't love me."

"Your loss then," She said contritely.

He snarled at her but then he inexplicably calmed down.

"You love him too." He said.

[So when you look in the Sun]

[Look for pleasures nearly won]

[Or was it better to run]

[than to spend the summer singing]

"So?" She mimicked his tone from before.

"Why haven't you told him?"

"Because he thinks he loves me."

[And summer could come in a day]

He stared at her; astonishment clouding his eyes.

"Don't me wrong," She continued blithely, "I love him as much as I can. But…he pretends, or he believes he loves me. He's hiding a secret from himself. I won't…can't do that to myself. I'm not cheap."

"I still don't understand." He said wearily as if all the sorrow was drained out, leaving nothing but an intense fatigue.

[So if you hear my sad song singing]

[remember who and what you nearly had]

[It's not easy singing sad songs]

She smiled at him, "Silly Kai," She admonished him, "He loves you; you love him. What's so difficult about that?"

Kai took a step back, "T-That's…"

"Preposterous? Totally unbelievable?" Her face hardened and she stepped in front of him, "You poor fool."

He recovered some of his bearings, "He doesn't love me!"

"No?" Her voice was cold, almost dark and sinister. Then the dying Sun shone on her face and she looked normal again.

"He…"

"Has always loved you," She completed for him, "You, with your grim and dim attitude, never showed it. I knew, of course. That's why I'm with you and not with him."

Him.

[When you sing this song to make me glad]

His throat convulsed and he clutched it fearfully.

She smiled at his reaction and turned away, the burning red light of the setting sun in her eyes.

"I…" He turned as if ashamed, "I'm sorry."

"I don't need your pity, and when I do, I'll ask for it," She said, her face shining.

Then he saw the fresh tear marks on her face. It made her glow rather than destroy her looks.

[So when you look into the Sun]

[and see the words you could have sung]

[It's not too late; only begun]

[We can still make summer]

"Kai?"

He turned his face at him and for the first time in his life, Tyson was scared of Kai.

"Is something wrong?" He asked carefully, knowing how touchy his team captain gets about his private life. Not that Tyson's ever bothered about that before, but now…there was a great sadness and a great joy suffused in Kai's being.

[Yes, Summer comes anyway]

Kai hesitated, knowing a wrong turning could result in him going off the cliff in this.

"Tyson," He said, his eyes soft, "Who do you love?"

Tyson stepped back, his eyes flying with fear.

[So when you look in the Sun]

"I…I…I love Hillary," He said, "Don't I?"

"Really?" Somehow the over laid doubt in his voice made Tyson think his words over.

[And see the words you could have sung]

"And me, Tyson?" Kai leaned over to brush his lips against Tyson's own.

Tyson's breathing became erratic.

Kai stopped and looked Tyson in shock.

"You do, don't you?"

[It's not too late, it's only begun]

Tyson looked away, his eyes burning with tears.

"Stupid Tyson," Kai said and pressed his lips against Tyson's.

[Look into the Sun]

And Hillary wept.


End file.
